Crash's Recipe for Disaster!

grab your hello kitty apron and your ninja frying pan and lets fillet this bad boy!
first up! my recipe for disaster!
now alot of people think that you can just throw chaos into a situation and walk away
thats not the case the most you can get outta that is just mayhem..

A good disaster..i mean really lip smacking muaahh!! should be catastophic,
and that my friends takes preparation and patience..

as everyone knows there are literally thousands of ways to flavour your disaster,
but the recipe that i'm gonna give you today is just for a good COMMON DISASTER..
heres the basic ingredients that your gonna need..

your gonna need a cup of the IDEA of chaos, not chaos!
then your gonna need about a half pound of sliced trouble.. as thin a you can get it sliced
and a half pound of sliced MISCOMMUNICATION..

now.. your also gonna need one old man.. just any sized old man will do..

make sure that he's right.. your also gonna need.. maybe just a pinch of truth.. just a pinch..

and then your gonna need three buckets of uncontrollable forces.. one filled with ...
INSECURITY,



SUICIDAL THOUGHTS and ATTEMPTS,

and PLAIN SPOILTNESS.

alright! now lets make some disaster!

start with the idea of chaos, you just wanna throw it in..
and thats gonna be your base. . now right away. . add your old man..
now alot of people will say don't add your old man till later but i say add him right now!
cos' right at the beginning.. everyone's just gonna be like..

"whaaa? wait who is that guy?"

"why is he here"

"what the hell?"

let him just walk around the chaos and he'll just be there
looking at people.. standing in doorways.. trying to hang out in backlit places..
running his mouth over things..

now.. go ahead and add your trouble and your miscommunication..
thing is.. is that u have to add them together at the same time..
if you just throw in trouble in there.. someone with a good idea is gonna solve it..
and then disaster has been averted..

what happens then?
you have to have the trouble going on with the miscommunication..
for instance..

a new shipment of walkie talkies come in.. and you light the walkie talkies on fire..
there! theres your trouble but UH-OH! the walkie talkies are on fire but you have to make sure that the guy they sent for water comes back with battery.. cos water and battery just wreaks more havoc..
now thats miscommunication..

think about it like a very poisonous lasagne.. you wanna have a layer of trouble, then a layer of miscommunication..

a layer of trouble..
a layer of miscommunication..

now at the same time you should.. in a totally separate pot..
be bringing your uncontrollable forces to a boil..
and RIGHT before u add in the uncontrollable forces..
you just wanna throw in that dash of truth..

right that your gonna wake everyone up thinking
"ohh my goodness this is actually gonna happen!"

you can use truth, but i find that if you just use the perception of truth..
you'll get a much better result

BAMMM!!

add the uncontrollable forces and you have disaster!

now you just sit back with a nice glass of chilled Rosè and listen to
the old man cackle..

"cackle cackle cackle.."

can't take all the credit for this wonderful recipe..
http://www.askaninja.com version was way cooler.. lol..

crash.. over and out..~